Mommy, Mamá, Mutter: Motherhood Around the World

What, exactly, are breast warmers — and why are they popular with nursing mothers in Sweden? Why are antiradiation vests a must-have for many pregnant women in China? Is it true that expectant moms in Cuba are afraid to let anyone touch their pregnant belly? We asked the editors of BabyCenter’s 11 international websites (all mothers themselves) to answer these and other fascinating questions about motherhood around the globe.
The evil eye and other age-old beliefs
Mexico: If you
experience a lot of nausea during pregnancy, your newborn will have a full head
of hair.
Cuba & Panama: People in many Latin
American countries share a belief in the “evil eye” — that is, the
power of an evil or envious person to cause harm to a pregnant woman or her
baby. In Cuba, pregnant women won’t let anyone they don’t know or trust touch
their pregnant belly. In Panama, moms-to-be won’t reveal how far along they are
in their pregnancy, and they’re especially cautious around anyone who may be
holding a grudge. Women believe that sharing this information puts them at risk
for birth complications or an ugly child. New babies are dressed in red from
head to toe, because red is thought to ward off the evil eye.
India: People in India also believe in the
evil eye and they ward it off by burning red chilies and camphor. They also
believe that during an eclipse, pregnant women should remain inside the house
or their babies will be born with a harelip or other deformity. “Even
educated people hold this superstition,” according to BabyCenter editor
Vidya Sen. “The attitude is, ‘It may not be true, but why test nature’s
fury?'”
Switzerland & United States: In both
these countries, people say you can tell whether you’re having a girl or boy by
looking in the mirror. “A boy is said to enhance his mother’s beauty,
while a girl weakens it,” according to BabyCenter editor Claudia Starck.

Pregnancy and new mom must-haves
China: There’s
a widespread belief that exposure to computers, microwaves, and cell phones can
lead to miscarriage or birth defects, according to BabyCenter editor Joy Jia.
As a result, many pregnant women buy “antiradiation vests” to protect
their developing babies. In fact, the vests are recommended by some Chinese
doctors and pregnancy books, Jia says. Once they learn they’re pregnant, many
women also turn off their cell phones and don’t use them until they give birth
Spain/Latin America: Stylish and sassy
maternity clothes are coveted by pregnant women, because, says BabyCenter
editor Isidra Mencos, “We Latin women like to dress up!”
Germany: A new bra — either a larger one or
special maternity one — is a pregnancy gotta-have, according to BabyCenter
editor Cordula Zastera.
Australia: Maternity jeans are
at the top of the list for most newly pregnant women, according to BabyCenter
editor Danielle Townsend. “Australians are obsessed with denim,” she
says
Sweden: “Breast warmers,”
which BabyCenter editor Carina Westling describes as “a cross between a
baby elephant’s ear and a 1980s shoulder pad, that you stuff into your bra to
hold in body heat,” are popular among new mothers. Swedes believe that
nursing mothers should keep their breasts warm to increase milk flow and
prevent blocked ducts. Westling, who had her second child in March, is a fan of
breast warmers. “They aren’t exactly Victoria’s Secret,” she admits.
“But they’re really very nice — particularly when your milk comes in and
your breasts are tight and full.”
Respect — just a little bit
How are pregnant women and
mothers treated in your country?
England: Pregnant
women don’t receive much special treatment, according to Sasha Miller.
“There’s little respect or reverence,” she says. “You can be
standing on the bus, and people will stare at their newspaper and pretend they
don’t see you.”
China & India: In
China, once a woman becomes pregnant, the focus of the entire family is on her
and her baby. According to Vidya Sen, the same holds true in India. Everyone in
the family makes sure the mom-to-be is eating well and is protected from any
hazards.
Sweden: “You can
certainly expect to be given a seat on public transportation,” says Carina
Westling. “At the same time, it’s not polite to assume that a pregnant
woman needs lots of attention. In Sweden today, people are accommodating but
don’t see pregnancy or motherhood as defining you. That would be considered
rude.”
Dominican Republic: “Pregnancy
and motherhood are ingrained in the culture of Latin American countries,”
says BabyCenter editor Isidra Mencos. “Mothers and motherhood are revered,
and pregnant women receive respect wherever they go.”
Canada: Sometimes
women or older men will give you their seat on the streetcar, says BabyCenter
editor Ann Elisabeth Samson. “One challenge is making sure that they know
you’re pregnant, particularly in winter when you’re wearing a bulky coat,”
she says. “I’ve been known to unbutton my coat and show my belly in order
to get a seat.”

Food, glorious food
Mexico: In
Mexico and other Latin American countries, many believe that if you don’t eat
the food you crave during pregnancy, your baby will have a birthmark shaped
like that food.
England: According to British folklore,
pregnant women often crave coal. But Sasha Miller says that in general, the
idea of cravings during pregnancy “has pretty much gone out the window.
Now people just see pregnancy as a good excuse to eat ice cream at
midnight.”
Panama: New moms should eat only fresh,
homemade food — nothing processed or from a can. It’s believed that this will
prevent colic and help the mother regain her figure.
India: Vidya Sen says that in southern
India, a woman lets her family know she’s pregnant by asking for sour and tangy
foods, like raw mangoes or tamarind (a sweet and sour fruit). “This is how
the elders of the household (especially in rural areas) learn that she’s
pregnant,” says Sen.
China: There are many widely held food
taboos, says Joy Jia. For instance, people believe a pregnant woman should never
eat crab, because, according to traditional Chinese medicine, crab is a
“cold-natured” food that will cause miscarriage in early pregnancy.
Chinese women used to be encouraged to eat a lot during pregnancy, especially
protein. They also gained a good deal of weight. This is beginning to change,
particularly in urban areas, because China has seen a rise in pregnancy-related
diabetes. Jia says doctors now caution moms-to-be to follow a moderate diet
during pregnancy.
Naming traditions East and West
Switzerland: Many
people believe it’s bad luck to tell anyone the name you choose for your child
before the birth.
China: A current
trend is to take the five elements (gold, wood, fire, water, and earth) into
account when choosing a name. According to the Chinese classic The Yi Jin, or I
Chin, depending on exactly when a child is born, he’ll be strong in certain
elements, and this will shape his destiny. Chinese characters, or letters, also
bear characteristics of the five elements — a character may have the quality of
wood, for example. Many parents believe that the characters in a name can
compensate for elements that are lacking. If a baby “lacks water”
because of his birth date, a character representing water in his name would
make up for that shortcoming. Parents commonly pay an expert to help them
identify the appropriate name for their baby.
Sweden: Families
typically choose two to three first names for their baby, according to Carina
Westling. “Sometimes names have a family reference, but as a rule people
follow their fancy,” she says.
Spain: People in
Spain and other Latin countries have historically named their children
according to Catholic tradition — “Maria” has always been a common
name, for example. Boys are traditionally given their father’s or grandfather’s
name. But naming traditions are changing, according to Isidra Mencos.
“Today there’s much more creativity and freedom,” says Mencos.
“Many more parents are simply choosing names they love.”
Dads: You’ve come a long way — maybe
Sweden: It’s increasingly common for dads to take
half of the couple’s allotted parental leave time (480 working days) to stay at
home with a new baby. According to BabyCenter editor Carina Westling,
“Many studies show that couples who share parenting and household duties
have more resilient marriages and happier families.”
China: Fathers tend to be very involved with their
children — perhaps because most families still have just one child. In fact,
that used to be the law. But BabyCenter editor Joy Jia says this is beginning
to change: Now, in many provinces, a couple can have a second child if both
were single children themselves. In the rural areas of some provinces, a couple
may have a second child only if their first is a girl.
Australia: Women are still the primary caregivers.
BabyCenter editor Danielle Townsend cites a recent study showing that women
still do 70 to 75 percent of childcare and housework in Australian homes.
England: British dads are “better than their own
fathers when it comes to being involved parents,” says BabyCenter editor
Sasha Miller. “But they still leave most childcare duties to Mom.”
According to Miller, researchers in Britain have found that women do twice as
much childcare and housework as men do.
Spain: Even though 80 percent of women work, they also
do most of the childcare and chores on the home front. Baby Center editor
Isidra Mencos points out that this double workload leaves women overwhelmed and
has been linked to high rates of depression among Spanish women.
India: Many women still return to their family home
before giving birth, to be cared for by their mother and other family members,
and their husbands are usually not present when the baby is born. Vidya Sen
thinks this tradition creates an unfortunate distance between husband and wife.
“The dad happily goes away and doesn’t see his wife again until after the
baby is born,” she says. “He has no idea what she has gone through,
so he can’t empathize or understand her experience.” Luckily, things are
changing in urban areas and the husband plays a more active role during
pregnancy and after the birth.
Sleep, blessed sleep
Sweden: There’s
a division between those who support “controlled crying” (similar to
the Ferber method) and those who see it as unnecessarily cruel. According to
Carina Westling, “In general, people in Sweden don’t take a strong
disciplinary approach. Some people have family beds and some do not, but in
general it would be considered quite harsh to turn a child away if he needed a
cuddle at night.” At the same time, some people strongly advocate the
controlled crying approach.
Spain: The family
bed isn’t very common. Babies usually sleep in a bassinet in their parents’
room for the first few months, then in a crib in their own room.
China: Many children
stay in their parents’ bed until they’re 2 to 3 years old. “No one would
ever let their baby cry it out — this is not accepted in China,” says Joy
Jia. “People soothe their children to sleep. Of course, in Chinese
households there are a lot more people around — grandparents particularly — to
hold the infant and otherwise help the parents.” When children are not in
their parents’ bed, they’re likely to sleep in a bed in the same room until
they’re 3 or 4, or even older.
England & United States: Many
experts and parents seem to agree to disagree on the heated subject of sleep
sharing. A lot of people in the UK co-sleep, according to Sasha Miller.
“It goes against most experts’ advice, but it’s neither frowned upon nor
applauded by most parents,” she says. In the United States, a 2003 study
suggests, co-sleeping is on the rise. The study found that between 1993 and 2000,
the number of babies 7 months old or younger who usually shared a bed with an
adult grew from 5.5 percent to 12.8 percent.
India: Co-sleeping
is the norm. “Ninety-nine percent of families do it,” according to
Vidya Sen. Many families share a bed until the child is in his early
teens.
Mother’s Day North and South
Mexico: Mother’s
Day (May 10) is widely celebrated in schools; kids dance and create handmade
gifts for Mom. “In the home, a family with the means will even hire a
mariachi band to sing special songs in honor of Mother’s Day,” says Isidra
Mencos.
Austria: Mother’s
Day (celebrated on the first Sunday in May) is “a very busy day for
families in Austria,” according to BabyCenter editor Ilse Eichinger.
Children learn poems in school and recite them in the morning. They make
breakfast for their mother, as well as homemade cards and handicrafts.
Dominican Republic: Mother’s
Day is celebrated on the last Sunday in May with a large family gathering.
Families often sing a special Mother’s Day anthem, “Himno a las
Madres,” written in the ’20s by the wife of a former president and taught
in school. It’s as common as singing “Happy Birthday” at a birthday
party in the States.
Australia: Mother’s
Day is treated with a fair amount of cynicism, according to Danielle Townsend.
“We see it as a pretty commercial enterprise. Lots of people have a family
lunch with their mum, they give flowers and chocolate, but it isn’t viewed with
a lot of reverence,” she says.
United States: Families
tend to have their own rituals, but Mother’s Day is definitely a family day
here. Some mothers get breakfast in bed or dinner out. Others indulge in the
luxury of sleeping late. The most popular gift? According to a BabyCenter poll,
mothers said they most hoped to receive “anything made by my
children” or “a card, a letter, or some other gift from the
heart.”
Mother dreams
What do you think mothers in
your country want most for their children?
Germany: Cordula Zastera — “A healthy and
fortunate life.”
United States: Linda Murray —
“Parents in the states want their children to get a good start in life so
that they can be happy and successful later on.”
Spain: Isidra Mencos — “A close-knit family
and a good education.”
China: Joy Jia — “A happy and
fulfilling life. Education is considered one of the keys to this.”
India: Vidya Sen — “Good education, a
good job, and a secure future.”
Austria: Ilse Eichinger — “Health, good
friends, and a lot of pleasure.”
The BabyCenter 7: Mom phrases not lost in translation
We asked BabyCenter editors around the world for
sayings that reflect common feelings about motherhood in their country. Here
are some of our favorites:
China: Shi shang zhi you mama hao. — “The best thing in the world is your
mom.”
Germany: Zwei Dinge sollen Kinder von ihren Eltern
bekommen: Wurzeln und Flügel. — “Parents should give their children two things: roots and
wings.”
Austria: Kindermund tut Wahrheit kund.– “Children always speak the truth.”
India: Ishwar sarvavyapi ho, isliye ishwar ne har parivar
mein ek Maa di hai. — “God
couldn’t be everywhere, so he gave each family a mother.”
Switzerland: S’Mami isch die Bescht. Wenns ihre guet gaaht,
gaahts allne guet. — “Mom
is the best — and if Mom isn’t happy, nobody is happy.”
Sweden: Sma barn, sma problem, stora barn, stora problem. — “Small children, small problems; big
children, big problems.”
Spain, Mexico, Cuba: Madre no hay más que una. — “You only have one mother.”
